DEALING WITH TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS



 

 Many of you are living in toxic relationships and don’t even realize – why? Because society accepted many of the destructive patterns as normal! But if you feel something is off, if you feel you are tired, exhausted, used, stressed – pay attention to your feelings and believe them! Read on carefully and make sure that YOU don’t do any of those toxic things to others!

 

1. Interrupting (chronically)

You end up talking really fast as you are afraid you can’t get to tell what you have to.Comes with the feeling of lonelyness – you don’t feel yourself important as you feel the other person isn’t listening to you. He/she stops only to think about what to say next!

Be in touch with your feelings and deal with them. It might be hard as you got used to it – do it consistently, it helps! Practice saying “Please – I haven’t finish speaking yet!” Touch their arm to emphasis it!

2. Correcting

If someone chronically correct you, especially in front of other people makes you feel small, can cause anxiety making you perfectionist as a result. You may start to overprepare and to be perfectionist thus avoiding being corrected.

Practice saying “I feel like you’re my teacher more than my friend” with each other rather than you talking AT me” so you teach that person, it’s supporting, not
educating.

3. Guilt-tripping

rather than being comply with whatever that person wants you should be assertive from now on. You can be sure this person is doing it with others too!
Probably asks you to do something and puts these conditions on it “if you don’t do this this is what will happen to me”, manipulating you to doing it.
You have to say NO – calmly and lovingly!

Guilt is one of the lowest energies around!

4. Angerholism

They think they are loud and abusive enough they get they want. They usually came from disfunctional families, and are very lonely…

This is one of the most toxic relationships out there! Find professional help!

5. Nosiness – the nosy busybody

Maybe you are confused – “Maybe they are caring about me” but you feel something is off. Soon you see they are telling other people the stories you’re giving them!

Keep boundaries! Keeping boundaries is a tool for self-care that involves the right to hold one’s own personal thoughts, time, breathing room, and space sacred!

Stop feeding the shark!
Practice saying “I don’t really want to discuss it” keep repeating it if necessary; if they don’t listen, than walk away!

6. One-sidedness

They are talking, talking and talking, but you never get a chance to share your thoughts. If you start they suddenly have to go, they are “busy”.
Unless you are paid as a life coach or therapist you don’t have to sit and listen to other people’s issues problems endlessly!

It can be a sign that there is a part in you that waiting for permission?

Just talk – then see what happens. Have an honest discussion and move on if they just continue talking AT you!

In all cases:

– You may need to get professional help
– Prepare for that some people may leave your life and find someone else to take advantage of. Those who really care about you will learn and stay 🙂

All credits go to Doreen Virtue. Thank you so much Doreen – all that I learned on this topic during the Certified Assertiveness Coach course confirmed that I’ve known for years.